Kamesen: *sitting on the couch, nodding off*
Mario: *dunks a cookie into some milk*
Kamesen: *nods off completely*
Kurenai: *swings her arm back and smashes a button on the wall*
Kamesen: *gets electrocuted* HGAAHSARGHRG
Kurenai: Stay awake.
Kamesen: HAVEN'T I LEARNED MY LESSON?!
Kurenai: Yes you have. But you still need to be punished for your wrongdoings.
Kamesen: Doggone it! She's right. *shakes head quickly* hblbljbkjbkjb OK *stares at the t.v.*
Mario: Jeez what did you do?
Kamesen: It was that whole ice cream thi- KJGHFGUEYFGAAAHHHH
Kurenai: *leaning on the button* ..Oh! *gets off the button* Sorry.
Kamesen: Hghg-it's..s-s-alright.. gnjk.. grk..
Mario: Isn't pain one of the most effective ways of making a lesson stick?
Kamesen: It sure is, Mario. It sure is.
Mario: Yeah well anyway *turns on the t.v.*
Kamesen: *kicks the t.v. out the window*
Mario: *reaches over to a chalk board and makes another mark*
Samus: *walks into the room*
Kamesen: Don't you normally fix the t.v?
Samus: You fix it this time.
Kamesen: *lowers head in shame*
Kamesen: *comes back from the t.v. store and puts a new t.v. down*
Samus: There's a good lad.
Kamesen: *grumbles and plops down on the couch*
Mario: *turns on the new t.v.*
Kamesen: *shrieks like a five-year-old and throws a wrench at the floor*
Kurenai: TUT TUT *smashes the button*
Kamesen: HYEAAAAHRRRGGHHH *electrocuted*
Mario: Let the nice person speak~
Person: Obama's letting vets die in the streets while he gives free shelter and food to illegal immigrants.
Kamesen: Vets have been dying in the streets since streets were invented. And the whole giving immigrants a place to stay thing was signed in by Bush before-
Person: STOP BLAMING BUSH
Kamesen: -the end of his term.
Person: Obama is the worst president in the history of history and he is ruining this country.
Kamesen: *plays an old tape from 2009*
Person on tape: Obama is the worst president in the history of history and he is ruining this country.
Kamesen: I'm fine. Are you fine?
Person: I'm fi- NO WAIT, I'M DYING AND MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE. NOW.
Kamesen: Get off my television.
Person: YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME.
Kamesen: No, but I can stop listening.
Person: IMPEACH OBAMA, TAKE BACK THE WHITE HOUSE, REVOLUTION
Kamesen: *stands up and walks over to Kurenai while the person keeps ranting*
Person: SUE HIS ASS, HE'S THE DEVIL, HE DOES BAD THINGS AND NO GOOD THINGS EVER
Kamesen: *takes Kurenai's hand and puts his hand on it, then pushes her hand against the button and holds it there* GHRJGHDKG *gets electrocuted*
Kamesen: RHRJGHRGDFDF *does not let go of Kurenai's hand/the button*
Person: *trying to yell over Kamesen getting electrocuted*
Kamesen: TH-THIS IS GGG-G-GREAT; SEE?! I C-CAN'T EVEN HEAR HIM ANYMM-MORE
Kurenai: ..Should I be getting turned on by this?
Kamesen: HHHNNGNNGRG *starts bleeding from the eyes, turns and looks at person* H-HHAA HA HAH
Person: Well now you're just being rude.
(ten years later)
Kamesen: HUP! *skipping rocks across a lake*
Mario: *sitting on a lawn chair drinking a brew*
Kamesen: *is hit in the back of the head by a rock* GAAAAHH. *grabs his head, looks around* WHY.
Mario: You must never forget the lesson that you learned.
Kamesen: COME ON.
Mario: No one was holding a gun to your head when you ate that ice cream.
Kamesen: IT WAS AN INVISIBLE GUN. OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION.
Mario: ... *belches*
Kamesen: OH nuts on a bun. *kicks a rock into the lake* Alright who's next here.
Mario: Wha? We're out in the middle of freaking nowhere; why would you think th-
Scubadiver: *jumps up out of the water* BENGHAZIIIII
Kamesen: Yeah what about it.
Scubadiver: WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED.
Kamesen: Two locations were attacked by extremists; four Americans died.
Scubadiver: THAT'S JUST WHAT THE LIBERAL MEDIA TELLS YOU.
Kamesen: No, I'm.. pretty sure that's what actually happened.
Scubadiver: *takes off scuba mask and becomes known as Person* LIES.
Kamesen: Who lied.
Person: OBAMA AND HILLARY CLINTON.
Kamesen: About what.
Kamesen: WHAT. DID. THEY. LIE. ABOUT.
Kamesen: Secretary Clinton admitted it was her fault for the security lapse at the site of the attack!
Person: YES, IMPRISON HER. SHE IS A CRIMINAL.
Kamesen: She made a decision and it was the wrong one; that's not a crime. If it were, every general in U.S. history would go to prison for the thousands of troops that died under their command. That's war; that's how it works. We have limited resources, and we put them-
Person: LIBERAL LIES. SHE LIED, OBAMA LIED, IMPEACH THEM.
Kamesen: So THAT'S why these multi-million dollar investigations keep occuring, two years after the fact!
Person: It's not about money; it's about finding the truth.
Kamesen: Yes. The 'truth' that you want to hear. Which is that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama swam across the ocean and murdered those men with their bare hands, cackled amid the ashes, and then flew home on their devil wings.
Person: DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME.
Kamesen: *adopts a mocking tone* 'Don't make fun of me!' You're whinier than a Democrat; jeez.
Person: *face purples in fury* YOU...YOU SON OF A B(honk)TCH. HOW F(bleep)CKING DARE YOU. *pulls out an AR-15 and shoots at Kamesen*
Kamesen: *stands completely still as every bullet misses* You still haven't gotten the hang of that yet, have ya.
Person: *throws the gun down and rushes him* RRRGHHH
Kamesen: Jeez aren't I supposed to be the perpetrator of violence in these?
Person: RAAARRH *lunges at Kamesen* DIE COMMIE SCUM
Kurenai: Quit it *drops down from the sky and cuts the person entirely in half*
Kamesen: Grooooooss! But cool. Ten points for style.
Kurenai: Shut up.
Kamesen: *shuts up*
Mario: I still think it's funny that you censor certain swear words, yet you'll describe bleeding from the eyes and people getting cut in half like it's nothing.
Kamesen: This is America, Mario. That's how it works.
Mario: Well I'll be.. dinged.
*In a prim and proper conference hall somewhere in the US*
Kamsen and Mario: *shuffle in through the back door and sit down next to some stuffy old dudes*
Congresswoman: Ahem. I move that we NOT give out free birth control, because that will only lead to more teens having sex, which will lead to more abortions.
Kamesen: *stands up* Birth control prevents pregnancy, and a lack of pregnancy prevents abortion. Hand that sh(beep)p out and tell your kids the damn truth: there are two things birth control can't prevent- STDs and the emotional damage that occurs when some sh(bleep)tty guy pressures you into sex and leaves you with scores of regret.
Congresswoman: No no no, the proper thing to do is to teach abstainance in the-
Kamesen: *walks up, climbs on top of her podium, and farts directly onto her* Teach that.
Mario: *stands up and dusts his hands off* Let's-a-go.
*they leave through the back door*
*the building explodes behind them for no reason*
Kamesen: I DID NOT DO THAT.
Tien: *runs up* Thank goodness everyone evacuated beforehand!
*everyone breaks into hysterical, 'feel-good' laughter*